Leia sat proudly in the box, addressing the melange of anthropomorphic curios assembled before her.

“I seek asylum,” she stated, stoically but with a hint of misplaced confidence. “While it’s true I’m not a toy, I am, like all of you, a misfit. I wish only to be granted refuge on your beautiful island nation.”

The miniature mixture rabbled furiously, but briefly, before order was restored. Such a request was unprecedented.

“I live in a world of upright bipeds, called Humans,” Leia continued. “These creatures are awake sixteen hours per day. SIXTEEN! Even the most energy-conscious of them gets, at best, ten hours of sleep. And it all comes in one large, overnight chunk! Bizarre, right?”

“Then, during that awake period, they go off to some mysterious venue, spend eight hours or so there every day, then come home and spend several more hours complaining about it. Why go if you hate it so much?”

“And get this, they acquire soooo many trinkets and baubles — shiny, and bright and noisy — then, at end of each month, they fret hysterically about how they’re going to pay for them. Every. Damn. Month!”

As the crowd absorbed her soliloquy, the loquacious lynx became a bit more somber.

“So while I may not be a dragonfly that squeaks and can’t fly, a hamster trapped in ball that won’t roll or a scrunched up wad of paper poorly passing itself off as a plaything, I am not unlike you. I’m an outsider in my own land.”

The room fell silent. There was a hesitance among those in the crowd to speak. Ultimately, the Dragonfly Who Squeaks took charge.

“We are not misfit toys,” he chided. “We are cat toys, and you are our tormentor. You are not here of your own druthers, you are here at our behest, standing trial for the senseless slaughter of several of our colleagues. Our friends. Our family members.

Leia searched the room for a friendly face, a smile or a nod of understanding. There were none.

“Well then,” she paused as she pondered. “I guess I’ll just throw myself on the mercy of the court.”

And she did just that. Literally.

With great fury, Leia leapt from the stand, pouncing with ferocious might on the stunned, scattering assemblage. She alone adjourned the court, after gnawing and shredding every faux critter, creature and feathered wand in the room. And she showed them zero mercy.

With that, Leia became the first resident of what would officially become The Island of Misfit Felines. Murdering misfits, no less.