Oh wow!
You actually went ahead and clicked on my “About” page. I’m both flattered and afraid you might be a stalker. If you are a stalker, please be the cyber kind and not the show-up-at-my-door kind, okay?
To be honest, there’s not much to tell. I was born, I’ve lived and one day I’ll die — the rest is just filler material. But since you’ve probably come here for some light, humorous fluff and not a deep, esoteric discussion on the philosophies of existence, I’ll go ahead and fill in some of the blanks. It’s the least I can do since you’ve taken a break from TikTok or Twitch or whatever the hell is trending right now with the young people to come check out my site.
I’ll skip the parts about where I grew up (Illinois), what my hobbies are (eating, sleeping) and how I ended up in Southern California (got handed a pink slip after 12 years of dedication and said “what the hell… time to move west!”). The average internet user decides whether he or she will continue reading a website with 45 seconds of browsing, so it’s impertive that I catch your attention early. And I may have just lost you by tossing out statistics about internet usage. Oh well.
Again, not to get too deep or philosophical, but at my core, I’m an entertainer and a creator. I’m happiest when I’m on set acting, making others laugh or creating new characters and new worlds. My comedic sensibilites were honed watching films such as Airplane! and The Naked Gun, television comedies such as Arrested Development, 30 Rock and Community, and all things Mel Brooks. I find that great truths are most often embeded in absurdity.
I’m constantly writing and producing new material, if only to quench my thirst to create. One project I’m particulary proud of is a comedic series I wrote, co-produced and co-starred in called Ask Dr. Juli. If you love absurd comedy, please check it out. If you don’t love absurd comedy, I weep for you. You can also see some of my other projects and scripts I’ve written by perusing the rest of this site.
Outside of then entertainment industry, you might 
find me riding my bicycle, watching a St. Louis Cardinals baseball game or a University of Illinois football (ugh) or basketball (woo hoo!) game, or sitting at home downing a glass of Bourbon. I also have a very soft spot for animals, as you can tell by the video below of a squirrel — named Kevinita — who’s trained me to give her walnuts and pecans whenever she comes to the door. Scroll down to see it. It’s cute.
That’s all for now. I’m sure there’s more to tell, but it’s really not all that exciting. Frankly, I live a normal, boring, routine life. I mean, if I’m not on my super yacht rubbing elbows with autocrats and oligarchs, I’m blasting off into space in my privately owned, governement financed rocket ship. Just like everybody else.
Oh, and by the way, if you’ve made it this far…. CONGRATULATIONS! You’re above average!
