Leia peeked around the corner to see if the coast was clear. This moment, both unexpected and unprecedented, was an opportunity she simply couldn’t ignore.

I mean, seriously, she couldn’t. Right???

Inside the glass sat the final few drops of a robust and fruity Cabernet Sauvignon, vintage 2017. Informally, Leia’s human — the smaller, softer one — called it her “patience juice.” Indeed, after a few sips and several gulps, the petite biped would often become much less concerned over matters which normally gave her great consternation. It was as if this burgundy elixir possessed magical properties.

Leia knew she should leave well enough alone, but, let’s face it; resisting temptation isn’t exactly in her nature. She stared intently at the forbidden chalice, carefully debating the pros and cons, the latter of which greatly outweighed the former. Such mental stats were irrelevant though — this is where Leia relied on her gut. And her gut was no slave to moral quagmires.

She peeked around the corner again, still unsure if she was going to take advantage of this fortuitous happenstance. The human had scampered off to her litter room, not at all uncommon after so many “just one more” refills. If Leia was going to do this, now was the time.

The human staggered back into the living room, the sound of shattering glass thrusting her out of her mellow solitude. On the floor, flowing amidst a dozen or so razor sharp shards, was the last of her bewitching libation. Leia covertly tucked her paw back under her body. As far as anybody knew, that glass swatted itself.

“Why?!?” the beleaguered human screamed as she stared at what was supposed to be the capper of her evening. “Why wouldn’t you at least DRINK it?!?!”

“Drink it?” Leia disdainfully retorted. “Do I look like an idiot? A girl needs to take care of herself. I may have nine lives, but I only have ONE liver.”

Hidden in that context was advice the human should’ve considered, but didn’t. Instead, she wanted more wine — and she wasn’t opposed to opening another box of it.