The Sith Master glared menacingly at the young Jedi. Not only was this the moment she had long anticipated, it was one she had coldly and calculatedly arranged.

“I’ve been waiting for you, young Micestalker,” Lord Maddy confidently proclaimed, in a deep baritone voice enhanced by a mechanized breathing apparatus. “There will be no escape this time.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Leia cooly replied, staring blankly at her malevolent counterpart. “I didn’t come here just to run away.”

This was music to Maddy’s Machiavellian ears. The circle was now complete. This was dark versus light confronting each other in one epic showdown.

“You have come to face your destiny,” she menaced. “Only now will you know the power of the Dark Side.”

“Oh, I’m very much aware of it,” Leia retorted without so much as a flinch. “I’m not afraid to face it.”

If Leia was unfazed, Maddy was even more so. Every piece of her pernicious puzzle was in place. At long last, she would drop what was to be her most shocking and narrative-altering reveal.

 

“It’s time you learned the truth,” she snarled. “The tall, lumbering human never told you what happened to your sister. “

“He told me you betrayed her. And killed her.”

“No. I am your sister. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.”

There was no need. Leia had been in tune with her senses for some time now.

“Yeah, I know,” she acknowledged, matter-of-factly. “A month or so ago the human had a little too much of his “funny water” and told me everything. He said you were a spoiled, angsty kitten who embraced darkness far too easily and explained it away by blaming it on the death of your one true love. Also something about not being able to save your mother. Our mother, as it turns out, I guess.

She paused, as if for effect.

“Frankly, It all seems a bit too contrived, but whatever.”

This threw Maddy off her game. The well-positioned pieces in her metaphorical chess match were thrown asunder.

“Oh, uh… okay,” she regrouped. “But now you must make a choice. Join me and together we can rule the household. The humans have foreseen it. Embrace your darkness!”

Again, Leia was full of surprises. The learner was one step ahead of the master.

“Yeah, I’m in,” she casually asserted.

“Oh, really? Wow!” the clearly flummoxed Sith Lord countered. “That was… all too easy. You sure?”

“Yeah, the humans have been screwing things up for quite awhile now,” Leia explained. “And not just our household, but the entire planet! It’s time for their unearned, evolutionary run to end.

Suddenly, Leia’s ambition was on full display.

“If we do this right, we might even rule the galaxy.”

Indeed, a dark new force was taking hold and amassing unprecedented power. The humans would eventually form a resistance but the Feline Empire would prove to be too powerful — scratching furniture, gnawing at window blinds and knocking items off shelves at alarming rates. There would be no conveniently exposed exhaust ports or warrior teddy bears to foil their cunning schemes. The Empire struck back, and it struck hard!

“Say, Leia,” Maddy queried, turning to familial matters. “I’ve heard we may have a brother from another mother. You know anything about him? His name is Luke.”

The former Padawan-turned-Sith-Apprentice thought for a moment.

“Never heard of him,” she quipped. “If so, that would be an entire saga unto itself.”

For the humans, there would be no new hope. The balance had shifted and a new feline force had awakened.