FELINE-PHANTOM COMEDY IS A GRAVEYARD FOR LAUGHS

Catty Dialogue, Stale Storyline Dooms Resuscitated Reboot.

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) — Every so often, Tinseltown sprinkles its magical glitter dust on a long forgotten film, resurrecting that decades old skeleton from its dusty vaults, turning a Frankenstein’s monster into a Disney princess of a flick. Once in awhile that ill-fated pitch-fest folly metamorphoses into artistic and box office gold, delivering loads of laughs and cementing the careers of all involved.

Sadly, that doesn’t come anywhere close to describing the new paranormal pussycat comedy Día de Los Meowtos! 

The film stars fresh-faced feline Maddy (Mew Mew Land, Kitty Driver) as Buttercup Schrödinger, a cat who finds herself simultaneously dead and alive. Along with the help of Lola, a clumsy but well-meaning ambassador from the spirit realm — played by the always charming Alison Brie (GLOW, Community) — Buttercup must determine whether she’s passed away or if she is still among the living. It’s not as easy of a problem to solve as one might think, and our heroine must discover the truth before someone notices her.

It’s a shame that such a high-concept premise is played for low brow laughs. While much of the movie takes place inside a sealed box, posing paradoxical questions of quantum mechanics, the writers instead opted for humor more appropriate for a litter box. In one cringe-worthy scene, Lola scoops up Buttercup’s fowl smelling “nasty bits” and wisecracks that “la versión uno” of the curious cat may be alive, but she “just dropped la deadly deuce.” Other sophomoric gags include a crass discussion of “quantum sexual superpositions” and a broken flask of poison that’s mistaken for feline flatulence. Unfortunately, the jokes don’t get any more sophisticated as the film moves forward.

Día de Los Meowtos! is an all-female reboot of the 1992 film by the same name. The latest incarnation fails to capture the spirit and charm of the original, replacing quips about photons with one-liners about tampons. While the original movie — which starred Morris the Cat Jr. (Cattyshack, 9 1/2 Lives) and Steve Gutenberg (Cocoon, Police Academy) — would never be considered classic cinema, it at least provided some absurd laughs without having to resort to “hidden gems” found buried beneath the rose bushes.

Don’t feel too bad for Maddy or Brie, though, both of whom continue to work steadily in Hollywood. Brie has several projects in the hopper and Maddy has just been tabbed to play Captain Marvel in the all-feline reimagining of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Día de Los Meowtos!, meanwhile, should be mercifully put to sleep and listed as a movie that’s simultaneously dead and nowhere near alive.