Leia listened intently as the human regaled her with tales of his collegiate exploits; the drunken bar fights, the awkward attempts at quad-seasonal mating and something involving a rival’s billy goat, campus authorities and a huge misunderstanding. Still, she was undeterred.

“Amusing,” she acquiesced, “and even somewhat poignant. But I still think this so-called ‘lucky sweatshirt’ is better suited under me than it is on you.”