She knew better.

Everyone warned her not to read them, but she couldn’t resist. Following what those in the restaurant business call a “soft opening,” Chef Maddy had hoped to garner nothing but glowing reviews.

The popular app said otherwise.

“Very disappointed in the veal chops,” wrote Joseph L. “The garlic-parmesan sauce was bland, at best, and they gave me cremini mushrooms when the menu said morels. I can’t recommend this place.”

Lyndsey N. offered a similar critique.

The skillet-cooked duck was dry and chewy,” she scribed. “And were the beets from a can? Also, what they call watercress I call arugula. Very disappointed.”

And Chris B’s appraisal was even more succinct.

“You call this paella?” he bluntly penned. “More like pi-boo-uh!”

Maddy bleakly stared into the distance. Was she wrong? Had she greatly overestimated her abilities? Will this whole venture be known as Maddy’s Folly?

But amidst several pages of harsh and hurtful criticism, one lone review stood out.

“OMG! Have you seen this place?” Jeff K. beamed. “The food is cooked by a cat! A FREAKIN’ CAT!!! I was blown away!! I mean, seriously, the cat was actually in the kitchen!!! And not just sitting there, but ORDERING PEOPLE AROUND!!!  The freakin’ cat was running the show! The food was just so-so, but come on… it was MADE BY A CAT!!!!!”

Maddy closed the app and smiled. That was all she needed to see. She was indeed a freakin’ cat.

And a restaurateur.

Who else can say that?