The human was enthused as he showed off his latest purchase. Leia, to her credit, was skeptical about how this was going to be — in the human’s words — “a game changer.”

“What is it?” she asked, seriously confused about what exactly it was he put in front of her.

“It’s a banana slicer,” the human replied proudly. “No more guessing when it comes to getting evenly portioned pieces; this does all the measuring and cutting for me! Frankly, I’m not sure how we’ve gotten by without it all this time!”

Humans are curious beasts, Leia conceded. At times they seem so brilliant, erecting enormous human-trees that scrape the sky and harnessing the power of flight by using magnificent steel birds. Then at other times they display all the brainpower of a common Cocker Spaniel, voluntarily making themselves sick with those white smoking sticks and regularly killing each other over which invisible sky man to believe in or the subtle differences in the shade of their furless exteriors. The dichotomy between their intelligence and actions is, to say the least, perplexing.

All things considered, Leia’s humans aren’t that bad. Let’s be clear, though; neither one of them’s gonna cure cancer or solve climate change. But they aren’t gonna make a spectacle of themselves on one of those brain-numbing reality picture-box shows, either. Bottom line, her humans aren’t idiots, but they aren’t Felinesteins, either.

This banana slicer thing though? That’s a red flag. Fortunately, the human had a way to make Leia forget all about that.

“I have something for you too,” he said surreptitiously as he pulled her gift out of the bag. Leia’s eyes grew huge with anticipation.

“Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod!” she shouted like a Gen-Z kitten. “Is that what I think it is?!?”

It was. The human had bought her a Kitty-Deluxe Super Roller; you know, one of those round, partially open tubes with a jingle ball that rolls around inside. She spent the next three-and-half hours batting that ball back and forth inside the circle.

I guess it’s fair to point out, Leia ain’t gonna cure cancer or solve climate change, either.